Today’s post comes from the Jaded Snapper to read more visit jadedsnapper.wordpress.com

JadedSnapper has been sent to SmallVillage’s village green which is going to host a village fete and motorcyclist’s BikerBash next week.

JadedSnapper: Oh shit, what are you doing here?

ConcernedResident: Well after all the kerfuffle with the council I decided to move. They were a disgrace! I’ve come to SmallVillage for some peace and quiet

JS: There’s a certain irony in that. So, why oh why am I photographing you here, in this pleasant and peaceful village?

ConcernedResident: Well no sooner have I arrived here to find the place is in a complete mess. I mean what they are planning here is just not right. It’s blooming wrong!!

JS: Yes I’ve often thought we need to clamp down on village fetes.

ConcernedResident: I’m glad we’re on the same wavelength

JS: Are you american?

ConcernedResident: What? -

JS:  – Nothing

ConcernedResident: – Right this lot, this local church are planning a local fete

JS: I know, who do they think they are?

ConcernedResident: Exactly! And it’s worse than that -

JS: – how?

ConcernedResident: They’re inviting Limbo’s Angels! -

JS: – No!

ConcernedResident: – Yes! -

JS: – No!

ConcernedResident: Yes! -

JS: N-

ConcernedResident: – Look are you taking the piss?

JS: Of course not, I have the upmost respect for your campaigns especially when they are brought against one of the biggest threats to SmallVillage, the local church…

ConcernedResident: Yes well they’re clearly a menace, I mean inviting bikers to the village..

JS: So what are you going to do about it, need I ask?

ConcernedResident: I’m getting them ‘cos of ‘elf

JS: What? They’re bringing mythical creatures?!

ConcernedResident: What? No, ‘elf and safety!

JS: How does this affect ‘elf and safety?

ConcernedResident: These Limbo’s Angels are bringing…

JS: What?

ConcernedResident: [gives a grave look] They’re bringing fairy cakes. And they’re going to feed them to the kiddies!!

JS: Oh. My. God.

ConcernedResident: I know, someone had to stand up to them!

JS: Is that it?

ConcernedResident: No, the village green might get a bit muddy

JS: Well we couldn’t have people use a public open space could we?

ConcernedResident: It needs banning!

JS: Erm, okay. So where’s your petition?

ConcernedResident: I don’t need a petition. This is about rights!

JS: I was waiting for that

ConcernedResident: I’m standing up for the village’s ‘elf -

JS: And safety?

ConcernedResident: Exactly! Bikers are wrong! It’s political correctness gone mad! Ban them! As head of the SmallVillage Residents’ Committee it falls to me to stand up for village rights.

JS: So where are your angry supporters in the background?

ConcernedResident: Oh there’s only me on it.

Other posts this week from the Jaded Snapper

TerrorCops