Today’s post comes from the Jaded Snapper to read more visit jadedsnapper.wordpress.com

JadedSnapper is at a photocall, waiting for the ‘action’ to begin.

JadedSnapper: Hi guys

RedTopSnapper: [pointing to JS] Who’s this joker?

SilentSnapper: [shrugs shoulders]

RedTopSnapper: I’ve never seen him before – look at the kit – he must be a joker

SilentSnapper: [nods in agreement]

JS: Hey guys!…OI! I am here you know!

RedTopSnapper: [turns derisively to JS] Yeah, I know

JS: Well why ignore me then? I’m not a mime artist you know!

SilentSnapper: [furrows eyebrows and folds arms, clearly offended]

RedTopSnapper: Look mate, you’re not a pro so why don’t you sod off and play flower macros

JS: What are you on about? I’m the third best photographer on the EveningSnooze

RedTopSnapper: Oh, sorry mate – [turns to SilentSnapper and points with his thumb at JS] – he’s a local photographer

JS: Err, regional!

RedTopSnapper: Oh, dear, sorry mate, a regional photographer

SilentSnapper: [raises eyebrows and smirks]

RedTopSnapper: [turns back to JS] It’s hard these days to tell the amateurs apart from the regional photographers, especially with that kit

JS: What’s wrong with the kit?

RedTopSnapper: Mate, Nikon are shite. Until you get kit like this – [waves Canon camera about] – you’ll never really get on in this game.

JS: They’re just the same these days. And the FrogAgency now uses Nikon..

SilentSnapper: [mimes 'cheese eating surrender monkeys']

RedTopSnapper: Exactly, the frogs don’t count. Anyway, that’s not the point, look at this bit [points at the white lens] that’s the difference

JS: What, the colour?

RedTopSnapper: Yeah

JS: Racist

RedTopSnapper: What?

JS: Well what does that matter?

RedTopSnapper: Look, I’ve got a white lens, do you know what that means? It means it cost me more than a Rio Ferdinand

JS: A what?

RedTopSnapper: A grand mate. Over a faaacking grand mate!

JS: Well, all professional kit does these days, even Nikon…

RedTopSnapper: Yeah but no one knows that. With a white lens every one can see!

JS: How useful. So what?

RedTopSnapper: Well hardly any amateurs have these lenses so everyone knows I’m a pro, and I know that everyone who has one is a pro.

JS: So what?

RedTopSnapper: That way, I know who to talk to

SilentSnapper: [nods in agreement]

JS: So, let me get this straight, you only talk to professional photographers who have Canon kit?

RedTopSnapper: You see, not so fick are ya! But there’s one exception to that.

JS: What’s that?

RedTopSnapper: We don’t like girls either.

Also this week at the Jaded Snapper Blog

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