Today’s post comes from the Jaded Snapper to read more visit jadedsnapper.wordpress.com

JadedSnapper is at a nursery

JadedSnapper: Hi, I’m here to do a picture of your new play equipment

NurseryNurse: Ah, brilliant! Is it going on the front page?

JS: Who knows what depths we’ll have sunk to by edition time..

NurseryNurse: So it’s going on the front then? In colour?

JS: Again, who knows how much the budget will have been cut by then…. So if I can just get two or three of the kids on the slide…

NurseryNurse: Can’t you get all the kids on the slide… I mean it’ll be great for their self esteem and make them all feel involved

JS: Well they’re only 2 years old, I’m sure they’re all happy eating plasticine or whatever it is they do. It would make a better picture if I only had a few -

NurseryNurse: Erm, no, I disagree, the better picture would be with all 20 standing around the slide waving at the camera -

JS: I do seem to remember a Pulitzer Prize picture involving that very set up..

NurseryNurse: Exactly

JS: Right, well, I’ll do that, but if you want the front page [says quizzically, more to self] then it would help if I could do one with a few as well. Do you have permissions for their names.

NurseryNurse: Only the first syllable of the first name can be used. Child Protection, Data Protection, Health and Safety, Human Rights, Anti-Terror Laws you see

JS: Well why did you invite us then?

NurseryNurse: Right, well, I suppose you can have the first names…

JS: Common sense has prevailed, if only for half the time

NurseryNurse: Right well here’s all the kids.

JS: Click

NurseryNurse: Is that it?

JS: I’m a pro, you see

NurseryNurse: I don’t think that picture is going to be used

JS: No, hopefully not. So if I can just do one with a few kids.

NurseryNurse: Right, well okay, I’ll stick four on the slide

JS: Click

NurseryNurse: Is that it?

JS: You don’t realise how degrading this is. So names…

NurseryNurse: Lee, Colleen, Wayne and Georgia

JS: All normal spellings?

NurseryNurse: Apart from the last one

JS: Georgia?

NurseryNurse: Yeah, that’s J-O-R-J-A

JS: Georgia spelt ‘JORJA’? Are you taking the piss?

NurseryNurse:  …

JS: …

NurseryNurse: …

JS: That’s your kid isn’t it?

NurseryNurse: …

JS: That’ll be me off then.